Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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