Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
