I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
