I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
