Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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