Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
