Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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