every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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