Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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