I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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