U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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