I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
