I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
