great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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