Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
