I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
