so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
