I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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