I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Found your dick twin last night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
