Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
