dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
