I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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