we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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