I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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