so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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