i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
