we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
