She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
