He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
