i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize