That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
