question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
