I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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