all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
