You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize