and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
