No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
