Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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