Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
