is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize