the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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