Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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