And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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