buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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