Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You are a genius and a whore.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
