well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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