My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
