I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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