Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize