What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
