How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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