Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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