Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
