I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
