I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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