your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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