the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
